All over the world today there is a sin that so many people commit that causes so much sorrow, emotional pain, suffering, depression, and can even lead to substance abuse, self abuse, suicidal thoughts or suicide itself. Do you know what it is? The answer will surprise many of you. It is unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness normally stems from a lack of; ones needs not being met, a betrayal, those caught up in social and cultural issues of the past and present, and misunderstandings that lead to arguments. Below are several examples of this.
Four Examples of Many
First example would be a child hurt by their parents, because they gave their siblings more love and attention. This child will then seek out ways to get attention. For example they may be a brother with a sister where the sister gets all the attention. In order for the brother to get the attention he needs he may start to take on female characteristics in order to achieve this. This can open the door up to other problems in the brother’s life leading him to a variety of sexual sins and / or identity issues in his life. This of course can also go the opposite way in the brother’s and sister’s case, or in another case an older sibling may become the parents old toy, and then they start to spend more time with the younger sibling. Parents are not perfect people, and are products of their environments growing up. They normally make many of the same mistakes in their parenting as their parents did with them. So we must forgive them of their mistakes.
Second example would be a trusted friend or relative that may have committed an act that violated ones trust, or said something that was wrong or even hateful towards them. This causes pain and hurt to take root in the victim, and thereby causes unforgiveness to harbor in their hearts. This causes the victim more problems going forward leading them to troubled thoughts, substance abuse, abusing others as a defense mechanism, and so much more.
Third example would be divorce. Divorce is almost always a result of unforgiveness. It could be that one cheated on the other, or just years of emotional or physical abuse that lead them to divorce. Most of the time years afterwards, or possibly the rest of their lives, they harbor unforgiveness deep inside them. Bringing more pain and sorrow, and causing many more problems down life’s road.
Forth example would be the aspect of cultural unforgiveness. This form disguises itself as righteousness in many ways. It demands payment to be made for wicked acts. Wicked acts such as; slavery, genocide, political injustices, and so on. Instead of issuing forgiveness in these cases those that experienced these things (or not) harbor unforgiveness, then go about teaching others to hate, protest in the streets, commit hate crimes, burning down cities, attacking others, and so.
The Tree of Unforgiveness
What soil is this Tree of Unforgiveness growing in? The soil is darkness and evil, and the water it soaks up is the dark waters of anger and hatred.
Think about all the problems that you normally face through life. If you truly give it a deep thought you may find the source. The source normally is tied up with a hurt in your past. It could be rejection, a break up of a first love, a misunderstanding, an argument, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, child abuse, name calling, gossip, or anything really that caused unforgiveness to spring up in your heart.
This Tree of Unforgiveness has life threatening poisonous fruit, and the more one eats of it (in ways like making excuses as to why they can not forgive the offenders) the more pain and separation of joy and love they will experience in all areas of their lives. This Tree of Unforgiveness will never bring anyone happiness or eternal life, but rather just the opposite.
Where Does the Tree of Unforgiveness Grow?
Many never see the Tree of Unforgiveness itself because of where it grows, but do see the fruit it bares in the life of the one it is growing in. As with all things that are bad they grow in the darkness. Many times when these trees are exposed to the light of truth, they attack the one shining light on them by throwing its own fruit at them in order to chase them away. Fruit like insults, denial, hatred, or blame of others.
Reasoning With the Tree of Unforgiveness
A lot of people try to reason with the Tree of Unforgiveness by looking at the situation(s) that caused it to grow in the first place. This always sounds like a great idea because our minds are built to process the world around us, but a lot of time the person trying to make sense of the whys and reasons of it all gets trapped in the branches of this tree which only lead to; confusion, anxiety, hopelessness, fear, and mental exhaustion. This causes the person to get further trapped in its grasp, and in the end surrender to living there believing there is no way down out of this tree.
Forgive and Receive Forgiveness
Many people who grew up in western culture have at some point heard what is called “The LORD’s Prayer”. As a refresher here is what The LORD taught His disciples:
Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Matthew 6:9-13
What many, including myself, have failed to take a closer look at is what He said immediately after Him saying this. These next two verses are very important, and can not be stressed enough.
For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. Matthew 6:14-15
The LORD taught us to love, even those who hate us. For this is the way of His Kingdom. Stop and consider all of your transgressions / sins against God and others around you whether in thoughts, words, or deeds. We all need the Heavenly Father to forgive us of all of our wrong doings. Even if we do not know or remember what we have done we still need forgiveness from Him, but if we can not forgive others of their offenses how can we expect it from Him. Remember, even when Roman soldiers were nailing Jesus to the cross, Jesus asked the Father to forgive them because they did not know what they were doing. Even in His last moments before His death He was still faced with the decision as to forgive others, or not forgive them. Out of love He forgave even those soldiers.
Seeds of Reaction
As we continue in the course of life there will be those that mistreat us, persecute us, or even seek to take our lives. Therefore these situations will cause you to have to make a decision as to which soil you are going to plant your Seeds of Reaction in. Will you sow your Seeds of Reaction in the soil of hate that causes the Tree of Unforgiveness to grow, or in the soil of love that causes the Tree of Forgiveness to grow? Remember, both trees bare fruit, and you will be the one eating from them. Choose wisely.
In Conclusion
Is forgiveness an easy thing to administer? Sometimes, but not always. Many of our hurts have taken very deep roots, and are hard to get rid of. The very best thing one can do is turn to Jesus Christ, and invite Him into their life and become their Savior and Teacher. Giving Him their heart and ask Him to fill it with His amazing love. Release all their hatred to Him, and all that is within them. Allowing Him to change them so He can set them free from all that is destroying them from the inside out.
The Motivation Behind this Article
This message is written out of great love for anyone who reads these words. Also my prayers go up for all those who seek freedom from the Tree of Unforgiveness, and the pain, sorrow, and separation it brings.
Much love to you all,
The Caretaker of Feeding the Flock Ministry
Feeding the Flock 
1 Comment